Friday Aug. 15th,
Our first meeting with the breast surgeon was today at 3:30pm. We arrived early and did everything you do when you see any doctor for the first time: fill out lots of forms.
Soon we were in an exam room with our doctors assistant. She re-asks some questions and has Beth undress from the waist up and put on a gown the opposite way you normally would put a hospital gown on (with the opening in front). Then says, "Dr. Vaughan will be right in to examine you and talk through everything."
Dr. Aislinn Vaughan is young and pretty and very well spoken. Not every doctor has good 'bedside' manner. She spoke to us frankly, clearly, and with compassion. I liked her immediately. She again re-asked some questions and then asked Beth to lay on the exam table. She washed her hands and pulled Beth's gown to the side. I then watched as Dr. Vaughan touched every inch of my wife's breasts, moving this direction and that.
Beth and I have been married for eight years and 'together' for years longer. I have witnessed Beth go through two childbirths and all that comes with them (vaginal exams and legs in stirrups, and some other gory events). But, I have only seen Beth or myself touch her breasts (I know, "retch" & "vomit" "TMI" for some of you.) It was a strange experience seeing that. At the same time, watching Beth, I saw how vulnerable but, beautiful she was. It was weird to think of my wife as beautiful while she laid on a table half naked being poked and pushed. I was overcome with the urge to scoop her up and rocket into some imaginary universe where this can never happen and she would be safe and healthy forever.
Back to reality. The exam was over as quickly as it took to read the last paragraph. Dr. Vaughan closed Beth's gown. And we sat next to each other as Dr. Vaughan began the monologue that would finally punch me right in the chest to let me know this was all very, very real.
Dr. Vaughan started by explaining the biopsy results, the type of cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma), what could and what could not be causing the cancer to grow, and treatment. Estrogen receptors, progesterone receptors, triple negative are all terms I am more educated on now than I want to be. Five minutes in to this speech Dr. Vaughan says, "So that means you will have to have chemotherapy."
The next 60 seconds is a testament to how much of a wuss I can be and how strong Beth is. Dr. Vaughan paused and waited for this to sink in. I have silent drops of saline careening down my cheeks while Beth stares back at Dr. Vaughan with a look like "Ok. Whatever it takes. Let's do this shit."
We continue to discuss all the other avenues we will have to traverse to arrive at the place we long to be (cancer free). Lumpectomy (partial mastectomy), full mastectomy, radiation, ports, reconstructive surgery, hair loss, an much more.
Side note
Port: is a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein. Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical "needle stick".
The metallic plateau looking object with the pipe sticking out of the left side is the port. The part above it is just an example of what can be inserted into it. I recently watched a video of a six year old boy getting "stuck" in his port and his response was, "That didn't hurt." Beth HATES needles, so I think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread for her.
I cannot predict how many times she will be "stuck" over the coming months, but if this eases any of her discomfort I welcome it.
Beth is a planner. Everything must be scheduled and entered on a timeline so a comfort was the outline of events that would transpire in the near future. First will be a surgery to remove the "sentinel nodes" near the tumor. A dye and radioisotope will be injected into Beth's breast and will travel to the lymph nodes, indicating which ones would be the first to be attacked by the cancer. During the same surgery Dr.Vaughan will place the port on Beth's chest. Around the same time we will meet with the medical oncologist, the chemotherapy doctor and shortly after that meeting we will start 'chemo.'
As we finished up covering all the pertinent information Dr. Vaughan said the sentinel node biopsy will happen in the next week to week and a half.
Dr. Vaughan: "Everything is going to start moving very fast."
Unfortunately a week to a week and a half is not very fast when you have mortality and the unknown to dwell on while waiting.
Our first meeting with the breast surgeon was today at 3:30pm. We arrived early and did everything you do when you see any doctor for the first time: fill out lots of forms.
Soon we were in an exam room with our doctors assistant. She re-asks some questions and has Beth undress from the waist up and put on a gown the opposite way you normally would put a hospital gown on (with the opening in front). Then says, "Dr. Vaughan will be right in to examine you and talk through everything."
Dr. Aislinn Vaughan is young and pretty and very well spoken. Not every doctor has good 'bedside' manner. She spoke to us frankly, clearly, and with compassion. I liked her immediately. She again re-asked some questions and then asked Beth to lay on the exam table. She washed her hands and pulled Beth's gown to the side. I then watched as Dr. Vaughan touched every inch of my wife's breasts, moving this direction and that.
Beth and I have been married for eight years and 'together' for years longer. I have witnessed Beth go through two childbirths and all that comes with them (vaginal exams and legs in stirrups, and some other gory events). But, I have only seen Beth or myself touch her breasts (I know, "retch" & "vomit" "TMI" for some of you.) It was a strange experience seeing that. At the same time, watching Beth, I saw how vulnerable but, beautiful she was. It was weird to think of my wife as beautiful while she laid on a table half naked being poked and pushed. I was overcome with the urge to scoop her up and rocket into some imaginary universe where this can never happen and she would be safe and healthy forever.
Back to reality. The exam was over as quickly as it took to read the last paragraph. Dr. Vaughan closed Beth's gown. And we sat next to each other as Dr. Vaughan began the monologue that would finally punch me right in the chest to let me know this was all very, very real.
Dr. Vaughan started by explaining the biopsy results, the type of cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma), what could and what could not be causing the cancer to grow, and treatment. Estrogen receptors, progesterone receptors, triple negative are all terms I am more educated on now than I want to be. Five minutes in to this speech Dr. Vaughan says, "So that means you will have to have chemotherapy."
The next 60 seconds is a testament to how much of a wuss I can be and how strong Beth is. Dr. Vaughan paused and waited for this to sink in. I have silent drops of saline careening down my cheeks while Beth stares back at Dr. Vaughan with a look like "Ok. Whatever it takes. Let's do this shit."
We continue to discuss all the other avenues we will have to traverse to arrive at the place we long to be (cancer free). Lumpectomy (partial mastectomy), full mastectomy, radiation, ports, reconstructive surgery, hair loss, an much more.
Side note
Port: is a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein. Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical "needle stick".
The metallic plateau looking object with the pipe sticking out of the left side is the port. The part above it is just an example of what can be inserted into it. I recently watched a video of a six year old boy getting "stuck" in his port and his response was, "That didn't hurt." Beth HATES needles, so I think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread for her.
I cannot predict how many times she will be "stuck" over the coming months, but if this eases any of her discomfort I welcome it.
Beth is a planner. Everything must be scheduled and entered on a timeline so a comfort was the outline of events that would transpire in the near future. First will be a surgery to remove the "sentinel nodes" near the tumor. A dye and radioisotope will be injected into Beth's breast and will travel to the lymph nodes, indicating which ones would be the first to be attacked by the cancer. During the same surgery Dr.Vaughan will place the port on Beth's chest. Around the same time we will meet with the medical oncologist, the chemotherapy doctor and shortly after that meeting we will start 'chemo.'
As we finished up covering all the pertinent information Dr. Vaughan said the sentinel node biopsy will happen in the next week to week and a half.
Dr. Vaughan: "Everything is going to start moving very fast."
Unfortunately a week to a week and a half is not very fast when you have mortality and the unknown to dwell on while waiting.
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